Being a caregiver for a loved one is something we do with no reservations and a full heart. If you are in this boat, you are one of 65 million people who have taken on the role of caregiver for an elderly, chronically ill, or disabled loved one. 87% of these caregivers are not getting the proper amount sleep that a human being should.
Often when we are having to care for another, we lose sight of the care we need to be giving to ourselves. The demands of taking on this role can be overwhelming and put you in way over your head. Without paying attention, your health, relationships, and state of mind will suffer and eventually you can burn out. Once this happens you will no longer be able to look after your loved one, let alone accomplish much else.
This is why taking care of yourself is a necessity to you, not a luxury. Once you find yourself experiencing any signs of stress, it is time for you to find a way to step back and give yourself a break. In this article we will explore how you can detect your stress levels and different ways to give yourself the attention that your mind and body needs to put yourself at ease.
How To Read Your Signs of Stress
Many caregivers don't pay attention to the changes in their own behavior. Perhaps friends or family make some observations but caregivers can be stubborn and continue to put their loved one’s needs before their own. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you may be well on your way to burning out:
- difficulty falling asleep
- overreacting to small nuances
- new or increasing health issues
- difficulty concentrating
- experiencing feelings of resentment
- excess drinking or smoking
- putting responsibilities on the back burner
- no longer engaging in recreational activities
If any of these sound familiar to you it is time to make a change. You cannot allow caregiving to take over your entire life. By providing yourself with a little reward here and there, your duties as a caregiver will become a little bit easier to handle.
Things You Can Do That Will Help
- Find a person you trust that you can talk to about anything. Everyone needs someone to lean on and express their frustrations to now and then without feeling guilty.
- Set goals for yourself that you know you can achieve. If you need help from others, do not be stubborn. Everyone has to ask for help sometimes.
- Make Time For Yourself. Even if it is just taking 1 or 2 hours each day, you need some you time.
- Use respite care services. You are not abandoning your loved one by doing this, it simply provides you with the option of taking a break. Knowing that you’re leaving them in good hands will help you to relax or give you the time you need to accomplish your other responsibilities for the day.
- Know your limits. Don’t push yourself too hard. Check in with yourself at the beginning of each day, in the middle, and at the end so you know where you are at emotionally.
- Accept your feelings. Do not be too hard on yourself. If you are having a difficult time and feeling negative this does not make you a bad person.
- Join a support group. Being able to commiserate with people in a similar situation to yours can manage your stress, give you some helpful resources, and keep you connecting with others. Never underestimate the power another person’s understanding can bring.
- Celebrate small victories. If you are feeling down, take a minute to remind yourself of everything you have accomplished. It is not up to you to provide a cure for your loved one. You can only do so much, so give yourself a little slack for the things you can do nothing about.
- Exercise. Though it may seem like the last thing you want to do, exercise can reinvigorate you in a way nothing else can. 20 minutes of exercise a day will help lift your energy levels and fight fatigue, not to mention make you feel a little bit better about yourself in general.
- Eat well. Nourish your body with fruits and vegetables, proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats like nuts and olive oil. Try to avoids sugars and caffeine which will only provide temporary relief and lead to crashing and amplifying feelings of stress and sadness.
- Meditate. Daily meditation will help relieve your stress and give you a sense of peace and well-being. That little time of stillness and concentration on your breath will help you maintain your peace of mind throughout the rest of the day.
When to Ask for Help
Every caregiver is a human being, and every human being needs care once in awhile. Do not feel guilty if you have to reach out to friends or family to assist you. Do not expect them to know what it is that you need or how you are feeling. Learn to be upfront about what’s going on and you will find that people are more ready to help than you may think.
Most importantly, if someone offers to help, say yes. Don’t be shy about accepting the help of others, it makes them feel good to be supporting you. To find a good community support group talk to your doctor or hospital for resources. They will have a number of options for you to look at, all you have to do is ask.