Who knew the invention of the internet would change the dating world like it has? Dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble continue to blow up, which means the art of writing the perfect dating profile is more important than it’s ever been. And for wheelchair-users, these apps are especially awesome.
Dating apps provide wheelchair users a rare opportunity to meet open-minded people whom they wouldn't meet otherwise. Many people with spinal cord injuries (SCIs) have met the loves of their lives because of these apps, or on sites like Match or eHarmony. And most agree—writing the perfect profile is hugely important.
Not only do you have to write about what you do for a living, what you like to do for fun and where you are from, you also have to write about your disability. This can be rather stressful. However, you don't have to write a book when filling out a dating profile. It's all about choosing the right words, and expressing yourself in such a way that gets your message across – that YES you are a great catch! Read on to see exactly what we mean.
Decide Your Anonymity Level
Before you begin writing your dating profile, you need to decide how public you want to be. There is no right answer to this question and just because you share everything about your life doesn't mean you'll be more successful on a dating app. You should decide, before filling out your profile, how comfortable you are talking about details such as your injury, what you do for a living or even sharing a picture of your face.
Many would rather not put a photo of themselves on a dating site, for example, and there are others who only want to put a “teaser” paragraph in their profile, then share everything in private messages with users. Many apps, however, require a photo. Also, if you decide you're not comfortable sharing any information about yourself, online dating may not be the best dating method for you.
Get Two Current Photos (Headshot & Wheelchairshot)
One of the most important parts of a dating profile are the photos, and it is best to only post photos that are a year or less old so you can be accurate about what you look like. You may have looked better in that photo taken at a wedding eight years ago, but that wouldn't be right to put on your profile, even if you think you look the same.
A great way to get current photos you love is to recruit a friend with a phone that has a great camera, or someone who has great photography skills, and then go outside on a beautiful day to take advantage of the natural light. Take photos up close and further away. It’s best to always post both a headshot and a full body shot showing you in your wheelchair.
Introduce Your Disability Right Away
When filling out the bio section of your dating profile, you can pretty much write whatever you want, as long as it's the right length and not crude. But whatever you write, you should always mention your spinal cord injury in the first paragraph of your profile. There are some wheelchair-users who prefer to mention it at the end of their profile instead, thinking they're preventing people from clicking away once they see this detail about them.
However, I feel it’s best to mention it right away. Look at your disability as a filter for people you don't want in your life anyways. If they click away instantaneously after seeing that you use a wheelchair, good riddance.
Use Humor to Reel ‘em In
If you've got it in you, add humor to your profile anywhere possible. While a few people out there may be turned off by the lighthearted nature, it’s by far one of the best demeanors out there if you're trying to help people be comfortable around your disability. You don't necessarily need to be concerned about this, but if you want to add humor, like, "Yup, I use a wheelchair. I can't get over how sexy it is either," or something to that effect, can be surprisingly good dating bait.
Add Unique Elements, Like a Poem
Instead of writing a ho-hum couple of paragraphs talking about yourself, some people will write a poem for their profile. Through poetry, they describe who they are and what they're looking for. It may take a more artistic-minded person to successfully write a “dating profile” poem, but unique additions to profiles like this one can really set you apart on a dating app. If a poem is not your thing, try adding a song lyric that speaks to you (with the copyright of course).
Don’t Feel Like You Need to Overshare
Do not feel pressured to over-share just because you have a disability. You are not a “lower class” person who should show all your cards. Remember this as you receive private messages from users who may ask rude questions. Keep your standards high while you date, and only share what you feel comfortable (and if you're receiving information from them as well).
Dating on these apps may seem like a lot of work, but the reward if you find it – true love – makes it worth it; always. Remember, nothing fantastic usually comes easy.
How do you prefer writing a dating profile?
Image Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/torley/8502114016
